The School Rules are, as the name implies, rules that the Principal of the Thing enforces. While it is not required to follow the rules, if the Principal catches the player not following the rules in the hallways, he will relentlessly pursue them, and when he catches them, put them in the Principal's Office, giving a detention. The School Rules are:
- No running
- No entering Faculty
- No bullying (If the Principal of the Thing sees It's a Bully) (used to be no eating before Update V1.3)
- No drinking
- No escaping detention
- No fourth wall breaks (impossible to break)
- Because fourth wall breaking is not possible as the player, there are really only five rules to follow.
- The no fourth wall breaks rule may be a reference to the Meta Game Jam metaness categories, as one of them is named Breaks The Fourth Wall.
- Within the game's files, there are unused voice clips of the Principal of the Thing saying "No stabbing people with pencils in the halls!" and "No looking in other people's lockers in the halls!", meaning that there were going to be eight rules to follow at some point.
- The Principal's Keys were originally just called "Keys", which could point to the fact that the keys might have originally been used for one, if not all, of the lockers instead.
- In the the earlier versions of the game, there was a rule against eating in the halls, which has since been removed in Update V1.3.
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